Updates and partying – I’m out and about very soon

These look like Cinderella shoes and they look extremely expensive but – I have taken a pair of my older suede heels and put heaps of glitter and jewels on them and I’m off out to the Black and Bling party at Sale St. on Thursday night. Heaps of free Moet and I will be able to watch many people make cakes of themselves, make up, make out, make anything actually……lol

I try and organise one thing per week that spreads my wings and makes me do something different. It takes a little skill to find unusual things to do but if you look closely enough in your local papers, the local boards in Foodtown even or your local cafe you find all sorts of lovely things to do for FREE.

I adore getting dolled up and going out even though it is by myself – so what – its my life and I need to embellish it here and there or I would be bored and totally stuck at home being unrealistic and grumpy.

Grumpy is a state of mind, so many people actually seem in my view to live in that state permanently what a crock….we all need to network and talk and one big thing that is missing in our lives as older women is TOUCH…….

Dare I touch on the subject of ‘touch’ its so necessary even keeping the cats on my knee for a few more minutes means I can have a little more from a living entity – I miss my children, they grew up and as all children do grew past their mother. This is sad but the normal life and turn of events – the idea is to only keep them until they are able to fend for themselves, trouble is we still need them to help us fend for ourselves. mmmm makes me think of that empty nest syndrome that so many people go through.

I was lucky as I was mentally unwell when my youngest left to stay with his father so at least my life was helped with counseling from the mental health service the women who helped me had teenage children and she understood that this is a process we all have to go through, but omg its tough.

Over the past couple of weeks since my lovely little dog passed away I havn’t heard from either of my children and it has made me feel a little unworthy and because they are busy it isn’t appropriate to contact them daily or even too often about me…..their lives are about them so why should I push or pressure them into being my backup….but how I wish they were. This is a dream that is unrealistic but one I still hang onto daily, maybe one day I will be able to let it go, but until then they are both uppermost in my head.

Party – yes they make me feel alive and just being with lots of others (even not talking to them) just physically being in one spot with more than just me makes me feel better. Inside my soul I need to be part of the world and this in some small way assists with that.

Enough of my blatherings tonight…

Going off to have another little wee bit of my bottle of Cosmopolitan that I was given today…will only sip it and then get into my jammies and watch BBC world news and fall asleep to wait to get up tomorrow into another day and more fun…..

Enjoy your Wednesday and make a difference.

Cheers, Lillian